I was in an emotionally abusive relationship for 3 and a half years. We started dating when he was 14 and I was 15, we barely knew each other and met through my sisters boyfriend who happened to be his best friend. I don't remember when things got so bad. The first huge fight I remember was our one year anniversary, when I bought him a hoodie that was too big for him and he got really mad and broke up with me. I don't think that was our first big fight, but it's definitely when things took a turn for the worse.
For the next year we seemed to be fighting every day over the silliest things. He was just always so mad at me and I never realized how abusive it really was until right after our second anniversary. I found out through the same mutual friend who had gotten us together, that he had cheated on me. I wasn't surprised and as stupid as this sounds, I wasn't going to leave him. The same day I found out, he picked up my phone to reply to a text for me, which wasn't uncommon for us to do, and read all the texts and knew that I knew. He walked away from me that day and didn't say a word to me again for a month.
After that I thought we were for sure over for good. I realized how fucked up our relationship had been and I was glad when I finally started to move on. But one day, I was talking to my mom and looked down to a text from him. He wanted to talk, not get back together, but talk. I agreed and he picked me up and drove me to the spot we used to take homecoming pictures at. We sat in his car and talked for what seemed like forever. He apologized, told me he wanted to be a better person, and that it was hard losing his best friend. That conversation was one of the hardest I ever had. His voice kept cracking and it broke my heart, but I didn't think I'd be hearing from him again. He kept texting me though. After he dropped me off he texted me and the conversation didn't end for weeks. It was clear he wanted to get back together and I wanted to too. He had promised to change and I stupidly believed him. He even wrote a letter to my parents, asking for their forgiveness. We had a conversation with my parents and they said that if we chose to get back together they would support us, so we did.
For the next couple months things were great. He really was this new person he had promised to be. We were happy. But the longer we were together, the more he went back to his old self. He would say really hurtful things and get mad at me for any reason he could. If things weren't exactly the way he wanted them to be he was mad. It was never just an argument that ended quickly. Every fight involved him saying things he shouldn't have and then ignoring me for hours or days. And somehow he always turned it around to make it look like I was wrong and it was all my fault.
Finally, after being back together for over a year, we got in our last fight. We didn't talk for the rest of that day and the next morning I texted him and said we needed to talk. I told him I didn't feel like he loved me anymore and he basically told me that I was too sensitive and needed to grow up and get over it because he was never going to change. I broke up with him.
For the next couple weeks I was severely depressed. I prayed every night that I would wake up and not be so sad. I had to take medication to sleep. I blocked everyone in his family and anyone else who posted pictures or tweets about him on social media. But as time went on I felt better. I started talking to this guy who made me really happy and I felt good with him. Right as I was starting to move on, he came back.
He told me he was depressed, he missed me, and he'd do anything to have me back. But now, he's away at college, and I told him that I would talk to him the next time he was home. He kept texting me though, finding any reason to start a conversation with me, and I stupidly kept replying. It's been a few weeks now and we text every day. I've still kept to my promise that nothing would happen until he came home, but I'm worried. I'm worried that I'm doing the wrong thing. That he's manipulating me and using me until he doesn't need me anymore and he'll drop me all over again. But at the same time, I've gotten so attached. I'm so used to talking to him again every day and I'm afraid to face how sad I'll be if we stop.
I told him that I wanted to be with him. But I don't know if I can. Nobody supports the idea, and I can't say that I blame them. But I just want it so bad. These last few weeks of talking to him have been great, I can see that he's trying to be better, but is that just so he can get me back? I wish I could read his mind to figure out what's really going on. What would you do if you were me? Any sane person would say to let him go and find someone better. But fuck I love him so much. It feels so right with him. Like I can be myself. But maybe that's because it's what I'm used to.
I'm in love with an emotionally abusive person and it sucks.
Thursday, September 21, 2017
Saturday, September 9, 2017
I'm so fucking stressed.
This blog is shit. I don't even know why on earth I thought I could actually post every single day of the year. Out of my like 12 posts, 5 of them have 1 view, one of them has 16 views, and the rest have literally never even been read. But I don't fucking care.
I need a place to vent and since I'm always putting my life on the internet for literally nobody to view, I figured this was the best place to do it.
Jack and I broke up exactly a month ago. I broke up with him because he was a fucking shitty ass boyfriend. He was mean, he was emotionally abusive, he literally only cared about himself, he told me he loved me "sometimes" and told me that we got back together because he wanted someone to talk to and I was "easy". LITERALLY NOBODY IN THEIR RIGHT MIND WOULD CONSIDER GOING BACK TO SOMEONE LIKE THAT SO WHY AM I?!
A couple weeks after we broke up he texted me to tell me that my twitter banner, which was a screenshotted tweet that said "One day when you're 35 you'll see the guy who broke your heart when you were 19 in the grocery store and laugh because he's bald", made him feel "personally attacked". I saw the tweet a couple days after I broke up with him and I laughed because he broke my heart at 19 so I saved it and made it my twitter banner. He literally felt attacked and thought I was saying he was going to be bald?? Anyway, since that text, we haven't stopped texting. It started when I explained that I didn't think he would be bald and for the next couple hours we played catch up on what we had been up to since our break up. After all, we agreed to keep it friendly, so this was just us, being friendly, right? Well, that conversation ended and I was like "eh, maybe I'll hear from him again in a couple months". I was wrong. He texted me the following day to tell me that his family was having a hard time finding someone to watch his dog while they took him to move into college (he wasn't asking me to watch the dog, he literally just texted me that to start a conversation). The next morning I got a text that said "leaving Manassas!", because he was on his way to college. And a couple days after that I got a picture with the caption "first day of classes!". Since that text, we haven't stopped talking.
I was fine with it, I liked getting to know what was going on in his life and I had missed him, so having him back, even as a friend, was nice. BUT THEN SOME SHIT WENT DOWN.
He texted me at like 2 am, after I went to bed one night, and said "I think I'm still in love with you.". I literally woke up a couple hours after he sent that text, rolled my eyes, said to myself "how the fuck did I know this was coming?", and went back to bed. The next morning I obviously had to say something, right? So I told him that when he comes home for fall break next month we would talk, and until then we were JUST FRIENDS.
Well I'm fucking dumb as fuck, so of course all the feelings for him that I thought I had gotten over came back and I found myself wanting to get back with him so badly. But I told him there had to be serious changes on his part because like I mentioned before, he was a shitty ass boyfriend. He did the whole "I'm a new person. I'm so lonely at college and all I want is you. I'm going to spend the rest of my life fighting for you if I have to. I swear it'll be different this time. I want a future not a fling" shit. However, we broke up for a month and a half last year because he fucking cheated on me and then he came back and said all that dumbass shit and I fell for it and took him back and look where that landed me!
So now I'm torn. Jack was my first love and the feelings I have for him are as strong as ever. I want a future with him. He treated me poorly but he has a personality that I'm in love with and if he could just learn to treat me right I feel like we could have the best fucking relationship ever. BUT, like I said, he's pulled this whole "I'm a new man" shit before and nothing changed so I'm having a really, really hard time trusting him. I'm sticking to the "we'll talk in person when you come home next month" plan, but a month is gonna come before I know it and I don't know what I'm gonna do when it does.
I feel like any normal person would be like "ha sorry no you piece of shit go fuck yourself bye", but for some reason I cannot imagine being with anyone else and I want this so badly.
I literally feel so stupid. Like if we get back together for a second time I'm gonna look so fucking dumb because we broke up for legit reasons both times and they were both due to how fucking awful he treated me. And what if it still didn't work and we broke up again? Then I'd really look dumb.
And since we've been talking nonstop for the last couple weeks and all my feelings have come back, I know that if we stop talking or decide not to get back together I'm going to have to go through that heart break all over again and I really just don't want to.
If anyone was actually reading this they'd tell me to block him on everything and never look back but I just want to believe it would work so badly :(((((
I'm so stressed out. I need a sign from God telling me exactly what to do. Like if right now I just heard God's voice telling me what to do I'd feel so much better, I'd also be terrified, but at least I'd know what to do.
Why can't humans just be like other animals and not experience love? Life would be so much easier.
I need a place to vent and since I'm always putting my life on the internet for literally nobody to view, I figured this was the best place to do it.
Jack and I broke up exactly a month ago. I broke up with him because he was a fucking shitty ass boyfriend. He was mean, he was emotionally abusive, he literally only cared about himself, he told me he loved me "sometimes" and told me that we got back together because he wanted someone to talk to and I was "easy". LITERALLY NOBODY IN THEIR RIGHT MIND WOULD CONSIDER GOING BACK TO SOMEONE LIKE THAT SO WHY AM I?!
A couple weeks after we broke up he texted me to tell me that my twitter banner, which was a screenshotted tweet that said "One day when you're 35 you'll see the guy who broke your heart when you were 19 in the grocery store and laugh because he's bald", made him feel "personally attacked". I saw the tweet a couple days after I broke up with him and I laughed because he broke my heart at 19 so I saved it and made it my twitter banner. He literally felt attacked and thought I was saying he was going to be bald?? Anyway, since that text, we haven't stopped texting. It started when I explained that I didn't think he would be bald and for the next couple hours we played catch up on what we had been up to since our break up. After all, we agreed to keep it friendly, so this was just us, being friendly, right? Well, that conversation ended and I was like "eh, maybe I'll hear from him again in a couple months". I was wrong. He texted me the following day to tell me that his family was having a hard time finding someone to watch his dog while they took him to move into college (he wasn't asking me to watch the dog, he literally just texted me that to start a conversation). The next morning I got a text that said "leaving Manassas!", because he was on his way to college. And a couple days after that I got a picture with the caption "first day of classes!". Since that text, we haven't stopped talking.
I was fine with it, I liked getting to know what was going on in his life and I had missed him, so having him back, even as a friend, was nice. BUT THEN SOME SHIT WENT DOWN.
He texted me at like 2 am, after I went to bed one night, and said "I think I'm still in love with you.". I literally woke up a couple hours after he sent that text, rolled my eyes, said to myself "how the fuck did I know this was coming?", and went back to bed. The next morning I obviously had to say something, right? So I told him that when he comes home for fall break next month we would talk, and until then we were JUST FRIENDS.
Well I'm fucking dumb as fuck, so of course all the feelings for him that I thought I had gotten over came back and I found myself wanting to get back with him so badly. But I told him there had to be serious changes on his part because like I mentioned before, he was a shitty ass boyfriend. He did the whole "I'm a new person. I'm so lonely at college and all I want is you. I'm going to spend the rest of my life fighting for you if I have to. I swear it'll be different this time. I want a future not a fling" shit. However, we broke up for a month and a half last year because he fucking cheated on me and then he came back and said all that dumbass shit and I fell for it and took him back and look where that landed me!
So now I'm torn. Jack was my first love and the feelings I have for him are as strong as ever. I want a future with him. He treated me poorly but he has a personality that I'm in love with and if he could just learn to treat me right I feel like we could have the best fucking relationship ever. BUT, like I said, he's pulled this whole "I'm a new man" shit before and nothing changed so I'm having a really, really hard time trusting him. I'm sticking to the "we'll talk in person when you come home next month" plan, but a month is gonna come before I know it and I don't know what I'm gonna do when it does.
I feel like any normal person would be like "ha sorry no you piece of shit go fuck yourself bye", but for some reason I cannot imagine being with anyone else and I want this so badly.
I literally feel so stupid. Like if we get back together for a second time I'm gonna look so fucking dumb because we broke up for legit reasons both times and they were both due to how fucking awful he treated me. And what if it still didn't work and we broke up again? Then I'd really look dumb.
And since we've been talking nonstop for the last couple weeks and all my feelings have come back, I know that if we stop talking or decide not to get back together I'm going to have to go through that heart break all over again and I really just don't want to.
If anyone was actually reading this they'd tell me to block him on everything and never look back but I just want to believe it would work so badly :(((((
I'm so stressed out. I need a sign from God telling me exactly what to do. Like if right now I just heard God's voice telling me what to do I'd feel so much better, I'd also be terrified, but at least I'd know what to do.
Why can't humans just be like other animals and not experience love? Life would be so much easier.
Thursday, February 2, 2017
We're Literally Fighting Over a Bralette...
February 2, 2017
Today Jack and I are in what I would call the STUPIDEST fight we've ever been in. We're fighting over a bralette. Yes, the fake, decorative, meant to wear underneath open back dresses, bra. For months now Jack has been asking me why I don't wear bralettes. The answer is simple, they're over priced, wouldn't be supportive enough, and I DON'T WANT TO. For some reason he can't comprehend this and is just very insistent that I should wear a bralette. Today, he texts me "Anna (his sister) wears bralettes and her boobs are as big as yours", completely out of the blue. So I responded with "I don't want to wear bralettes" and then I went on a small tangent about how it's my body and I can wear or not wear whatever the fuck I want. Now we're fighting.
I think the only fight we've had that was just as dumb if not dumber than this one was last year when I went to skyzone with my siblings and texted him "I'm at skyzone" to which he replied "why?" and then just got really angry but didn't have an actual reason as to why he was mad I went to skyzone, he just was. That was stupid too.
It's just like, sometimes I think to myself "Jack and I fight way too much" and then I realize that the majority of our fights are about things such as bralettes and trampoline parks. It's ridiculous, I don't understand it at all.
In other news, I had an ENV test today and it went okay. Now I'm about to either watch Grey's Anatomy or edit a video and then later I have to film SED and then after that I may or may not go to skyzone with Jack. What an exciting day!
Thanks for reading,
Kylie
Today Jack and I are in what I would call the STUPIDEST fight we've ever been in. We're fighting over a bralette. Yes, the fake, decorative, meant to wear underneath open back dresses, bra. For months now Jack has been asking me why I don't wear bralettes. The answer is simple, they're over priced, wouldn't be supportive enough, and I DON'T WANT TO. For some reason he can't comprehend this and is just very insistent that I should wear a bralette. Today, he texts me "Anna (his sister) wears bralettes and her boobs are as big as yours", completely out of the blue. So I responded with "I don't want to wear bralettes" and then I went on a small tangent about how it's my body and I can wear or not wear whatever the fuck I want. Now we're fighting.
I think the only fight we've had that was just as dumb if not dumber than this one was last year when I went to skyzone with my siblings and texted him "I'm at skyzone" to which he replied "why?" and then just got really angry but didn't have an actual reason as to why he was mad I went to skyzone, he just was. That was stupid too.
It's just like, sometimes I think to myself "Jack and I fight way too much" and then I realize that the majority of our fights are about things such as bralettes and trampoline parks. It's ridiculous, I don't understand it at all.
In other news, I had an ENV test today and it went okay. Now I'm about to either watch Grey's Anatomy or edit a video and then later I have to film SED and then after that I may or may not go to skyzone with Jack. What an exciting day!
Thanks for reading,
Kylie
Thursday, January 26, 2017
Today Was A Shitty Day
January 26, 2017
Today was shit. I don't know why but I woke up in a horrible mood. Not like a bad mood, or a sad mood, but just not a good mood. I haven't really felt happy today, just annoyed kinda, but not for any real reason.
I'm fighting with Jack, AGAIN about some stupid shit AGAIN! The other day we were talking about our anniversary which is in a little over a month and I asked if we could go to Cheesecake Factory to which he replied "yeah!!" and then suggested that we "eat all 3 meals together". I had actually been thinking it would be fun to spend the whole day together and I was happy he thought so too so I was excited and we talked about it and planned it a bit and all was fine. Well today, Leanna told me that Jack had been talking to Alex in their psychology class the other day about how I just "really wanted to eat all 3 meals together and it's gonna cost so much money" and I'm so upset because that's not what happened. First of all, it was his idea, and second of all, I obviously did not expect him to or want him to pay for all of mine and his food. I'm not some evil gold digging girlfriend. He took some plan that he had made, that I was excited for, and made it look like I was stupid for wanting to do this and trying to steal all of his money. Now he's telling me that I'm overreacting and acting like I've been betrayed when really I'm just upset that he acted all excited about something and then went to my sister and his best friend and started saying that I wanted to do something that was stupid and gonna cost him a bunch of money.
What sucks the most about this whole situation is that he did the same fucking thing last year when I asked if we could go to the aquarium for our anniversary. First he said yes and thought it'd be a great idea and then a couple weeks later acted like he never wanted to do that and it was gonna cost a bunch of money and I was stupid for even thinking we should do that. Last year we didn't even see each other on our anniversary and we broke up shortly after it so I was excited to actually spend our anniversary together this year.
I'd understand if I suggested it and then got upset when he said he didn't want to do that because it'd cost too much money but the fact that he literally came up with the idea and then went and said he didn't want to do it is what's really bothering me. But fuck what I think right? I shouldn't get upset because he doesn't want to spend a bunch of money on something right?
On top of that, I had to spend an hour of my day driving my brother around town so he could play basketball so that was a blast and a really good use of my gas!!! :)))))))
Today sucked.
Today was shit. I don't know why but I woke up in a horrible mood. Not like a bad mood, or a sad mood, but just not a good mood. I haven't really felt happy today, just annoyed kinda, but not for any real reason.
I'm fighting with Jack, AGAIN about some stupid shit AGAIN! The other day we were talking about our anniversary which is in a little over a month and I asked if we could go to Cheesecake Factory to which he replied "yeah!!" and then suggested that we "eat all 3 meals together". I had actually been thinking it would be fun to spend the whole day together and I was happy he thought so too so I was excited and we talked about it and planned it a bit and all was fine. Well today, Leanna told me that Jack had been talking to Alex in their psychology class the other day about how I just "really wanted to eat all 3 meals together and it's gonna cost so much money" and I'm so upset because that's not what happened. First of all, it was his idea, and second of all, I obviously did not expect him to or want him to pay for all of mine and his food. I'm not some evil gold digging girlfriend. He took some plan that he had made, that I was excited for, and made it look like I was stupid for wanting to do this and trying to steal all of his money. Now he's telling me that I'm overreacting and acting like I've been betrayed when really I'm just upset that he acted all excited about something and then went to my sister and his best friend and started saying that I wanted to do something that was stupid and gonna cost him a bunch of money.
What sucks the most about this whole situation is that he did the same fucking thing last year when I asked if we could go to the aquarium for our anniversary. First he said yes and thought it'd be a great idea and then a couple weeks later acted like he never wanted to do that and it was gonna cost a bunch of money and I was stupid for even thinking we should do that. Last year we didn't even see each other on our anniversary and we broke up shortly after it so I was excited to actually spend our anniversary together this year.
I'd understand if I suggested it and then got upset when he said he didn't want to do that because it'd cost too much money but the fact that he literally came up with the idea and then went and said he didn't want to do it is what's really bothering me. But fuck what I think right? I shouldn't get upset because he doesn't want to spend a bunch of money on something right?
On top of that, I had to spend an hour of my day driving my brother around town so he could play basketball so that was a blast and a really good use of my gas!!! :)))))))
Today sucked.
Wednesday, January 18, 2017
Facebook Messages from Random Guys and My Fear of Public Bathrooms?!
January 18, 2017
Well guys, a few more of my blog posts have gotten exactly one read so I'm pretty sure that means I'm gonna be famous tomorrow, lol jk.
I haven't posted in a few days so here's a quick catch up on what's been going on...
Nothing! I haven't really done anything exciting at all in the last few days. School, work, and that's about it. I have, however, managed to spend about $150 on Erin Condren planner stickers on Etsy so that's cool. I'm really good with only spending my money on practical things as you can see.
But honestly, I am addicted to planning. A few months ago I started watching plan with me videos on YouTube and then I got my own Erin Condren for Christmas and now I'm addicted and I can't stop buying stickers. It's honestly helped to keep me really organized though because at the beginning of the week I'll write down when I need to complete each of my homework assignments and then since I look in my planner every single day, I'm never forgetting to do any of them! The most frustrating thing happened yesterday though. I did my ENV homework on Monday night and then I went to class yesterday and realized I had left it in my car. I couldn't turn it in because class had already started and he won't allow us to turn in the homework after he's started teaching, I was beyond annoyed.
Speaking of ENV, I got a Facebook friend request from some guy yesterday and I had no clue who he was but he was friends with my cousin and her boyfriend so I just accepted it. Well, he messaged me and turns out he's in my ENV class. He started out by asking if I did the homework and we had a friendly conversation for awhile until he mentioned that he applied to go to VT in the fall and I told him that my boyfriend was going to VT in the fall and the conversation immediately stopped, haha. I had a feeling that would happen though, I felt bad but I'm glad it ended before things were able to get awkward.
Now I'm at Starbucks, getting some work done before my art class and I really have to pee but I have a fear of public bathrooms so I'm trying my best to hold it. If anyones curious, my Starbucks order is a Venti Iced Caramel Macchiato, it's amazing, 10/10 recommend.
Well there's a quick update for you all, mostly me though, since I'm the only one who reads this. How is your week going?
Thanks for reading!
Kylie
Well guys, a few more of my blog posts have gotten exactly one read so I'm pretty sure that means I'm gonna be famous tomorrow, lol jk.
I haven't posted in a few days so here's a quick catch up on what's been going on...
Nothing! I haven't really done anything exciting at all in the last few days. School, work, and that's about it. I have, however, managed to spend about $150 on Erin Condren planner stickers on Etsy so that's cool. I'm really good with only spending my money on practical things as you can see.
But honestly, I am addicted to planning. A few months ago I started watching plan with me videos on YouTube and then I got my own Erin Condren for Christmas and now I'm addicted and I can't stop buying stickers. It's honestly helped to keep me really organized though because at the beginning of the week I'll write down when I need to complete each of my homework assignments and then since I look in my planner every single day, I'm never forgetting to do any of them! The most frustrating thing happened yesterday though. I did my ENV homework on Monday night and then I went to class yesterday and realized I had left it in my car. I couldn't turn it in because class had already started and he won't allow us to turn in the homework after he's started teaching, I was beyond annoyed.
Speaking of ENV, I got a Facebook friend request from some guy yesterday and I had no clue who he was but he was friends with my cousin and her boyfriend so I just accepted it. Well, he messaged me and turns out he's in my ENV class. He started out by asking if I did the homework and we had a friendly conversation for awhile until he mentioned that he applied to go to VT in the fall and I told him that my boyfriend was going to VT in the fall and the conversation immediately stopped, haha. I had a feeling that would happen though, I felt bad but I'm glad it ended before things were able to get awkward.
Now I'm at Starbucks, getting some work done before my art class and I really have to pee but I have a fear of public bathrooms so I'm trying my best to hold it. If anyones curious, my Starbucks order is a Venti Iced Caramel Macchiato, it's amazing, 10/10 recommend.
Well there's a quick update for you all, mostly me though, since I'm the only one who reads this. How is your week going?
Thanks for reading!
Kylie
Sunday, January 15, 2017
Why I Went to a Community College and Why It's No Biggie If You Do Too
So it's that time of year, when all of the high school seniors are running around frantically, turning in applications and working on scholarships. College. It's stressful. Everyone these days has the mentality that if you don't go to a four year university right out of high school you're going to fail in life. But a university isn't your only option, and if the thought of leaving your hometown or paying thousands of dollars for something you aren't even sure you want is giving you major anxiety THEN DON'T DO IT.
Community college is always an option, an option you're probably going to be judged for choosing, but an option. Before I even entered my junior year of high school I knew that there was no way I was going away to college. The thought of moving out scared the hell out of me and having thousands of dollars in loans scared me even more. So I chose to go to the community college in my area and EVERYONE had something to say about it. Some people thought it was a great idea, they wish they had gone that route, save money, blah blah blah. Others, such as my boyfriend, best friend, and classmates, thought I was stupid. I never once considered changing my plans just because of another persons opinion, but I'm sure theres a lot of people out there who would rather do what everyone else is doing then be judged, so I'm going to give you 3 reasons why a community college is a better option than a university.
Reason #1: You save SO much money
College is expensive and most people's parents don't have 100k laying around to send their kid to school for 4 years. For this reason, many kids end up paying for themselves or having to take out loans. In a community college, you are taking the same exact basic college classes that everyone else is taking, for literally a 10th of the price. For my first year of college I paid $5000, and that includes tuition, books, and parking. The average cost for a semester at a university is $20,000. This obviously depends on where you're going and if its in state or out of state but I'd say 20k is a pretty average cost. Very few people have that type of money and if you choose to go to a 4 year school you're most likely going to have to take out loans which you'll be paying for years after you graduate. It's not worth it. Do your first couple of years at a community college and in total you'll pay half of what your friends will be paying for one year.
Reason #2: You Can Work While You're In School
If you go away, chances are, you won't be working. By going to a community college you also have the opportunity to work which is a great way to be able to pay for school, food, rent if you have it, and even your car. Unlike anyone else I talk to, I have my own car that I bought and paid for, because I stayed home and am able to work. It also gives you the opportunity to do something productive with your time away from class and studying instead of partying like college students
Reason #3: It's A Lot Less Stressful
While all of your friends are spending their last few months of high school taking SAT's, scrambling for recommendations, and applying to scholarships, you won't have to worry about any of it. I remember a lot of my classmates saying that their senior year was a lot more stressful than they had wanted it to be and I didn't feel the same way at all. I literally just had to register for my classes and I was done. I did apply to some scholarships, and got one of them, but because my school was so much cheaper I didn't feel at all pressured or stressed about it. Spend your last few months of high school enjoying it, going to prom, getting excited for graduation, and not feeling stressed about college.
Obviously, for some people, going away to college is the better way to go and there's nothing wrong with that. But so many people feel pressured to go away to school and it shouldn't be that way. Don't go away if you don't want to, I promise you won't regret it.
Thanks for Reading!
Kylie
Community college is always an option, an option you're probably going to be judged for choosing, but an option. Before I even entered my junior year of high school I knew that there was no way I was going away to college. The thought of moving out scared the hell out of me and having thousands of dollars in loans scared me even more. So I chose to go to the community college in my area and EVERYONE had something to say about it. Some people thought it was a great idea, they wish they had gone that route, save money, blah blah blah. Others, such as my boyfriend, best friend, and classmates, thought I was stupid. I never once considered changing my plans just because of another persons opinion, but I'm sure theres a lot of people out there who would rather do what everyone else is doing then be judged, so I'm going to give you 3 reasons why a community college is a better option than a university.
Reason #1: You save SO much money
College is expensive and most people's parents don't have 100k laying around to send their kid to school for 4 years. For this reason, many kids end up paying for themselves or having to take out loans. In a community college, you are taking the same exact basic college classes that everyone else is taking, for literally a 10th of the price. For my first year of college I paid $5000, and that includes tuition, books, and parking. The average cost for a semester at a university is $20,000. This obviously depends on where you're going and if its in state or out of state but I'd say 20k is a pretty average cost. Very few people have that type of money and if you choose to go to a 4 year school you're most likely going to have to take out loans which you'll be paying for years after you graduate. It's not worth it. Do your first couple of years at a community college and in total you'll pay half of what your friends will be paying for one year.
Reason #2: You Can Work While You're In School
If you go away, chances are, you won't be working. By going to a community college you also have the opportunity to work which is a great way to be able to pay for school, food, rent if you have it, and even your car. Unlike anyone else I talk to, I have my own car that I bought and paid for, because I stayed home and am able to work. It also gives you the opportunity to do something productive with your time away from class and studying instead of partying like college students
Reason #3: It's A Lot Less Stressful
While all of your friends are spending their last few months of high school taking SAT's, scrambling for recommendations, and applying to scholarships, you won't have to worry about any of it. I remember a lot of my classmates saying that their senior year was a lot more stressful than they had wanted it to be and I didn't feel the same way at all. I literally just had to register for my classes and I was done. I did apply to some scholarships, and got one of them, but because my school was so much cheaper I didn't feel at all pressured or stressed about it. Spend your last few months of high school enjoying it, going to prom, getting excited for graduation, and not feeling stressed about college.
Obviously, for some people, going away to college is the better way to go and there's nothing wrong with that. But so many people feel pressured to go away to school and it shouldn't be that way. Don't go away if you don't want to, I promise you won't regret it.
Thanks for Reading!
Kylie
Thursday, January 12, 2017
Second Semester of College: First Week!
January 12, 2017
Today is Thursday and I just finished my first week back to school and the first week of my second semester of college! I only took 3 days of classes this semester so I don't have classes on Monday's or Friday's and I am so excited about that. Working and school is a lot and having 4 days off of school in a row every week will be a blessing.
On Tuesday, I had my Information Technology Class (ITE) first at 9:30. The professor for that class is going to be out for the next month so we had a fill in professor and he was nice. I had an extremely embarrassing moment of not being able to log into the computer. It wouldn't accept my password and I have no idea why. Luckily, I didn't have to use the computer but I am concerned that I'll have to next class and won't be able to. The class seems like it'll be a breeze.
Afterwards I had my lecture for Environmental Science (ENV). The professor for that class is super weird but in an entertaining way haha. He seems really cool and even though I hate science, I don't think I'm going to hate his class which is good.
On Wednesday I had my art appreciation class. The professor is nice and seems like fun and since I took art 101 last semester, I think I'll get the hang of art 102 pretty easily. There is one girl in that class who was just driving me crazy though. She was so confused and stressed out about everything and honestly I just couldn't handle it, lol.
On Thursday, I had ENV again and we did our first lecture of the semester. It was pretty quick and simple and I think I'll do well in the class.
Afterwards, I had my Communications class which I was really stressed out about since I do have social anxiety. However, the class is actually pretty interesting and it doesn't seem like it'll be too bad. We have a speech and a group project later on but I decided to not worry about those until they come about.
Overall, I'm pretty happy with my classes for the semester and extremely excited for it to end! It's 70 degrees today which is really making me crave summer and the freedom it holds.
Thanks for reading!
Kylie
Today is Thursday and I just finished my first week back to school and the first week of my second semester of college! I only took 3 days of classes this semester so I don't have classes on Monday's or Friday's and I am so excited about that. Working and school is a lot and having 4 days off of school in a row every week will be a blessing.
On Tuesday, I had my Information Technology Class (ITE) first at 9:30. The professor for that class is going to be out for the next month so we had a fill in professor and he was nice. I had an extremely embarrassing moment of not being able to log into the computer. It wouldn't accept my password and I have no idea why. Luckily, I didn't have to use the computer but I am concerned that I'll have to next class and won't be able to. The class seems like it'll be a breeze.
Afterwards I had my lecture for Environmental Science (ENV). The professor for that class is super weird but in an entertaining way haha. He seems really cool and even though I hate science, I don't think I'm going to hate his class which is good.
On Wednesday I had my art appreciation class. The professor is nice and seems like fun and since I took art 101 last semester, I think I'll get the hang of art 102 pretty easily. There is one girl in that class who was just driving me crazy though. She was so confused and stressed out about everything and honestly I just couldn't handle it, lol.
On Thursday, I had ENV again and we did our first lecture of the semester. It was pretty quick and simple and I think I'll do well in the class.
Afterwards, I had my Communications class which I was really stressed out about since I do have social anxiety. However, the class is actually pretty interesting and it doesn't seem like it'll be too bad. We have a speech and a group project later on but I decided to not worry about those until they come about.
Overall, I'm pretty happy with my classes for the semester and extremely excited for it to end! It's 70 degrees today which is really making me crave summer and the freedom it holds.
Thanks for reading!
Kylie
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